THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM! This looks like a nice photo taken here in FL but I actually took it last Spring in Kiev in one of my favorite parks.
It may seem that I don't have anything new to share - but I have a new quilt to share. I can't share it until after March 22 because it's a gift and I don't want to spoil the surprise!
I've really been disturbed by some things I've read on Facebook recently. I know that we all have opinions and we may have a right to share them. But, isn't there some point when we should practice discretion?
A "cynical", "negative" and "critical" spirit is something I've found in myself - so don't think this is written about anyone else. I've even had several opportunities this week where I've had a very strong opinion and was challenged to re-think my perspective to have a less critical and negative opinion. What has been most obvious is how things change when I attach a name or a particular person to an opinion. An opinion becomes a judgment when we "personalize" it. We can still be bothered by something without personalizing our feelings. We can also recognize something that is clearly wrong, but have the discretion to keep anything to ourself that would be a judgment on someone else.
So, here is an attempt on my part to change things that I had a cynical or critical spirit about this week and simply word them as an opinion, without regard to anyone in particular.
Here are some things that I've rethought and reworded this week. I'm still long way from where I should be - but, this is my attempt to improve my thought-process. (Remember, these were not my first thoughts.)
1. If you are able to wear short shorts AND look pretty good in them, you probably don't need panty hose under them. (Rather than, what was she thinking?)
2. People are usually nice when they have time to get to know you. (Rather than "isn't she rude and she doesn't even know me?")
3. Only a very unselfish person is willing to miss a long stop light at 5 pm and let a truck pulling a trailer go ahead of them (and you) ... (I'm still working on this one!)
Here is something someone said about me.
"You're much more uptight at work than at home".... could be reworded as "I can tell you are able to relax when you get home". Much nicer when it's less personal!
Another thing that struck me was how easy it is to be critical of someone we will never meet, most likely because they are famous. But, does that give us the right post a very public criticism? Maybe you think it does. Shouldn't we consider that the more information we put "out there" in blogs, facebook posts and tweets, the more we open ourselves up to criticism. If we are willing to put our feelings out there, we better be able to take it when it comes back around to us.
I don't want to say anything hurtful, whether I know someone or not.
I don't want to miss the blessings of relationships - even if the other person/people are very different than I am or have different political views.
And, I don't want to make a public judgment about someone when what I'm saying is based on "what I see" rather than what I know personally.
I accept the reality that people may misunderstand my faith, my choices and life, but I'll try not to make judgements of others individually. I may have very strong opinions about issues, but I don't have to let that dictate my friendships.
No, things are often not as they seem. And yet, we say things that we don't even remember 24 hours later, without ever knowing we may have hurt someone.
I'm trying to learn more self-control and more discretion with my thoughts and words. I want my thoughts to change, then I'm sure my words will change.
I learned this lesson late in life, and I am sorry for many things I've said that I should have kept to myself. I only pray that I'll be able to ask for forgiveness for people I've hurt with my words when things were not as they seemed!
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