New Years Reality!

The New Year is officially here!  For Ukranians, New Year is the biggest holiday they celebrate.  They don't celebrate Christmas until Jan. 6 & 7 and they try to keep it very "holy".  So New Years is the time to exchange gifts and spend time with those you love.  We have fireworks here every week at least 3 times a week - not the organized kind, but a quick burst of beautiful fireworks.  The stores have been loaded with fireworks and I think most were bought by our neighbors!  They started here around 8 pm last night and I just heard some about 30 minutes ago (it's 8:05 am New Years Day).  One of our friends (Andrey) told us there would be lots and lots and lots of drinking.  Not the normal "drinking", but drinking to get drunk for days!  The grocery stores add extra aisles with booze to the already large section of the store.  Before you are too quick to make a judgement - remember that many of these people are spiritually lost - they have no relationship with God and many have never heard the name of Jesus.  With the difficult lives they lead, they feel hopeless.  I guess this is a time to just forget everything.  Pray for these precious people - Jesus died that they might have life - abundant life!

Not meaning to ever be anything but honest - I feel that some people have a wrong perspective of us.  We try to be honest and we also try to focus on things that are "half glass full", if you know what I mean.  This life we are living is exciting if you consider how much we are able to depend upon the Lord without distraction.  Our relationship with Christ is deepening in a sweet and intimate way.   But, there are things about life in God's will that are difficult.  For me, that's here.  I'm speaking for myself - not for Tim.  Praise God that we balance each other.  But, for the New Year I thought I would answer some of the questions people ask that I usually just skim over.

Is it hard not being with your family?  Yes it is hard.  Christmas was not as hard as I thought, but other days are difficult.  Tim and I raised David and Sarah to be independent and they are.  We are proud of them.  This is their time to begin their own traditions and enjoy time with Ashley's family and Michael's family.  But, I miss them so much!  I missed making cookies with Sarah and Ashley (Michael - you're on next year).  I missed having them next to me for Christmas Eve worship.  What I find hard is never being able to hug them - touch them - or look them in the eye (have David bend down of course).  Oh, how I miss that.  I miss my sister so much that some days I could break down and cry.  My mom and Hank were so good about visiting all their children - I miss seeing them come up the driveway.  I miss Alex, Chandler and Courtney (my nephews and niece) on holidays.  I missed Christmas with the Thompson's at my brother's house.  (He's a precious young man - I'm so proud of him).  I miss Tammy, Terry, T.J. and Taylor - they are so much a part of our family.  I miss Debbie and Faye and our yearly photo.  Yes, it's hard.

What is the most difficult thing I do?  Day to day managing the house is difficult. If we're going to eat I have to be in the market about every other day.  While the market is one of my favorite places, the cooking 2 meals every day isn't.  I have been surprised by this - but I don't have the "things" I did in the states.  I have a very small oven and I have to do things differently.  It takes longer to do everything and I have to be really creative and brave.  Can't run to Harris Teeter or even to a neighbor if I'm out of something.  One day the grocery store was out of sugar - can you imagine?  We're often low on butter at the store.  But, I can't buy too much ahead because we don't have a place to store it.  

When we wash clothes, it takes about an hour and a half per load.  Then when we dry them, it takes about the same amount of time.  (Yes, I recently got a dryer!!!!!!)  We can't run the washer and dryer at the same time so I wash and dry clothes almost every day - like when my kids were young.

What do I miss most (other than people)?  I miss walking out in my back yard and just sitting.  There is no yard - anywhere!  We have playgrounds nearby, but they are dirty and old with very few places to sit.  The buildings are so tall you can't see around them. You just look into other buildings.  I miss fresh air and flowers.  I miss birds singing (not pigeons) and squirrels running around (our squirrels are intense).  I miss being able to sit alone outside.

How bad is it not knowing the language?  I hate not knowing the language, but I realize it would take years to learn it.  Coworkers who have been here 5 or 6 years still struggle with it.  I'm going to continue working on it myself (we no longer have money for classes).  My hope is to just continue understanding a bit more, then a bit more.  The people here are very helpful - someone is always willing to attempt to help you.

Honestly, this stinks!  I have friends I can't talk to and I wish I could.  Having the ability to skype and talk via Magic Jack probably doesn't help because it keeps connecting us to English speaking people.  It's bad not knowing the language - I HATE IT- but, we'll deal with it and we'll keep working.

What keeps me going?  People will answer this question almost as soon as they ask it.  Everyone assumes I "keep on" because it's God's will.  Well, that's true....but, God's will is not forced on us.  He allows us to make the choice to be in His perfect will or His permissive will.  The only thing that keeps me going - honestly - is the lostness of the people around us.  It drives me nuts that I can't just open my mouth and tell them about Jesus.  My job is to help the believing women here catch the vision to see their nation "in Christ" and have them teach the reasons for that vision to others.  It's been hard - really hard to connect with the women working here in ministry.  Yes, they have me in to teach as I've always done.  But, I'm not here to do what I've always done.  I need to help them see how key they are to winning this part of the world to Christ.  I often feel like a failure.  I can't see how anything I'm doing is effective.  Often, I feel like just giving up.  Often.  But, then I see the women walking by my building or in the Metro and I realize that 80% (at least) don't know Christ.  That is what keeps me going.

Recently I walked by a woman digging through the trash outside my building.  She had tied magazine pages and newspapers around her head to keep her warm.  I had a thought about her and how sad that was but I couldn't talk to her so I kept walking.  Then on the Metro this family got on and gathered in the aisle across from me.  The mother was talking constantly and passionately but I had no idea what they were saying.  I looked up from my book and the Dad was crying - crying!  At that moment, God stopped me and pointed them out as well as the lady that was digging in the trash.  I began to pray for them.  I couldn't do a thing - but He could and that was what I asked for.  I wondered if I was the only person to pray for them that day.

Life here has been hard for me.  The only regret I have is that is took bringing me to Ukraine for God to get my attention.  As hard as life is for me, it's harder for everyone around me who doesn't know Christ.  I have the great privilege to pray for those around me - I may be the only one who will.

I'll continue to write the good things.  I'll let you know what life is really like.  I'll try not to complain.  Don't feel sorry for me.  Don't worry about me.  Take time to look around where you are.  What are you missing?  What or who do you walk by everyday thinking you can't do anything about?  When you think about how hard your life is don't think about others having it easier, but think instead of those who have it harder.  I guarantee you they are all around you. God has placed you where you are for a purpose.

In closing this New Year's note - I want to tell you about 2 books that I encourage you all to read - in the order I'm listing.

1.  Same Kind of Different as Me - by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

This book will show you how God used everyday people to impact thousands.  You'll read a tender biography about an unlikely man God used.

2.  Dangerous Surrender - by Kay Warren

I found this book at Amazon and wrote the title down to order and have my sister send me.  Then I went into the Christian book store here in Kiev and found one English book - guess what it was?  Yep, "Dangerous Surrender".  In those moments, I know God has done it!  I knew the book would impact me because God had directed me to it.  When I first started reading it, I was going through it like a book.  The Spirit cautioned me to go back and use the resources listed at the end of each chapter.  This book will end up as one of my top 5 favorites of all time - yep, right up there with Pride and Prejudice and Scotty Smith's, "Object of His Affection".

Well, it's 2009.  What will we do with it?  Will I focus on the "hard" things?  I hate to say that some days I probably will.  But praise God, He forgives and redirects.  The new year is a reality and I'll do my best to live it as God leads.